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Soylent
Soylent
Soylent is a new "food" product, It's essentially an inexpensive drink with all the nutrients and essential stuff your body actually expects to get from eating. The inventor was a programmer that was frustrated wasting his lunch hour trying to find something affordable and nutritious in a big city. My modest proposal is why isn't the government buying this in bulk and saying if you are on food stamps, you need to be consuming 33% of your diet via this product or a free market competitor of similar product. It's not liking I'm saying it would be flavored better if it was made from babies! Soylent Green is Peoplehttp://www.soylent.me/ Read more...

Tags: Effecient Food Supply

But then I was born. Read more...

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Are you going to be in there much longer?
Are you going to be in there much longer?
"Excuse me... is there anyone in there?"
"Oh, yes... I'm in here."
"Would you be much longer?"
"I believe I shall be here for quite some time... would you care to bring me a sandwich?"
"Sorry mate... I can't feed you a sandwich, while you're still on the shitter! Ain't a lot of food floating around out here anyways."
"Well... I can't flush my TURDIS until I have some fuel."
Read more...

Tags: Babble Box, Gaza, Bro Who

Beautiful Naked Ladies
Space 1889 RPG
Once upon a time, beyond the end of space... where everyone one knew their place, there lived a janitor with many a chore. Assigned, he had been to a yellow door, but when he got to work it was not where it had been before. He tried his best and flushed the test... but when he returned he wasn't there anymore. Read more...

Tags: Bable Box

I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"? He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents." Read more...

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So, here I am. A female writing for Brolu.net. When I first realized that Brolu was a response to the other popular website, or app, known as Lulu, my body responded with just a guttural hiss. I loved Lulu... or I did once. It let me have revenge, let me bluntly grade men and see how other girls would, too. But I quickly realized two things. That almost 100% of those responses were half from girls who had just fallen in love (in which guys got a 10/10). The other half were the girls had been scorned - or at the least mildly hurt - by the dude, in which he scored a 4/10. That's if he was lucky. We were not being unbiased whatsoever. We were vengeful, spiteful, make-shit-up bitches. Or... we were doe eyed, rose-colored-wearing, in love little angels. So. Hell yeah I'll write an article. Tit for tat, bitches and angels. (Please use your best deep voice actors voice, channeling Brad Garrett or Morgan Freeman, for the following few sentences.) Does your girl lay in bed next to you at night with regular bouts of headaches, exhaustion, vaginal pain, constipation or a plethora of other maladies that only happen at night time? Do you think to yourself, "See a doctor already. You clearly have Bed Time Lupus" or something similar? (End voice) Well. She does have a case of something, fellas. It's called YouDontGetMeWetAnymoreitis. Hopefully, you've had many many months or even years of good regular sex. If you're unlucky, this happens around month four. It's due time you're informed. Frankly, because, we want you to screw our brains out. Every night. Every morning. And again at lunch. BUT. You don't get us wet anymore. Recover. Breathe. Check for both testicles. They're each still there, I promise... At least as long as you began with two when this article started, that is. Am I saying the problem is you? Yes. (Sorry.) BUT! Not only you. It is her, too. (You're welcome.) See... the thing (from my experience) is that you don't seem to (perhaps want to) comprehend what I'm about to say. If you can genuinely hear these next words, I can just damn near guarantee you a much healthier sex life. So... Focus. Here we go. Our biggest and hottest turn on is... our brain, our largest sex organ. What do I mean when I say the words you've heard nine-thousand times already? It means a few things. First off, if you're having an argument that is resolved immediately before bedtime, or worse, unresolved, she will have a severe case of YDGMWAitis. You may think, "wait, if we've made up before bedtime, then what is the issue?!" (That's (?!) called an interrobang for the nerds who wanna know. I thought the "bang" was appropriate.) The issue is that she has some stupid intense residual emotions. We are hard wired that way. Nothing is gonna change it. Nothing. For the next roughly one to five hours after the fight is over, we will have an inevitable roller coaster of "Did I give in too easily!? Am I a fucking door mat?!" Or maybe the "Damn... I'm a total cunt bitch. I gave him hell when he didn't deserve it. God. I don't deserve him. He's totally gonna leave me." These lingering thoughts literally demand our attention, as if we were cursed with Multiple Personality Disorder. They control our emotions for a long bout of time after. Even when the "voices" in our heads subside, our emotions are still on some ethereal weird limbo of unease. At any moment, we may cry or burst out laughing. The last thing we feel is sexy. Here is the good news: IF you two have had a very hard core screaming-type argument, and you happened to say the absolute perfect words in a perfect way that literally made her heart jump up with an "OMG he GETS me!!" Then... she may just jump your shween. The good ol' after argument sex. For some women, it's so rare, it never happens. For some, it can happen semi-regularly. Lets hope you've rolled the dice on semi-regularly. Secondly, the brain isn't about arguments. Have you done something along the lines of a compliment today? Other than saying "You look less fat today." Have you literally given a bonafide effort in telling her she is sexy as fuck? Cause if you tell her that, trust me, she'll begin to believe it. Until her brain believes it, she won't. And no one in the world has the equivalent of a boyfriend's power of making their lady believe she is sexy. If she feels fat, you come up with those buttery perfect words that make her feel perfect. What. Ever. She feels. You want to get laid? Make her feel like the only one in your line of sight that fits the word Perfect. You do that? Your sex life will go up doubly. Third. This one is bizarre. It'll be confusing. It'll sound contradictory. But it's coming straight out of the... pussy's mouth I could say. Don't let her think she has you whipped. You may wonder how are you to do the second rule, and the third at the same time. Well easily. You compliment her. Don't text her 10957 a day when she's at work or Especially if she is with friends. Once or twice is enough unless it's an active short conversation. Give her some space. Be a little manly. If you're good at something she isn't good at, friggin' do it. Haha... weird... I feel like a total cheater for telling men this. But we want you to act like MEN. Rough, tough, dirt-laden macho men. It doesn't have to be that extreme. But we wanna sense that you're not effeminate. Keep in mind, this is just from the majority of women I've spoken too. Not all ladies are like this. If you have a girl who likes it when you wear her panties, by all means, rock that thong. But for the most part, don't just wear boxers. Go commando with a solid hard on. Be a guy. Be a little bit risky. It turns her on even though she may be screaming "Stop! Be careful!" Build something. Out of wood. Am I kidding? Nope. A guy once built a speaker box thing and a table to hold our mixer and it killed a two week dry spell for me and a dude. Then it was a two week um... wet spell, shall we say. How does this have to do with our brain?? Well, evolution baby. We wanna know our man can protect us in case of emergency, damnit. Oh, not to mention, just doing the dishes counts too. That shows us that you can not only do classically male roles, but also the ones that suck. AKA the women's classic roles. Plus it shows us you care. You've perhaps seen the meme saying something along the lines of, "A man who does house chores always gets laid." It's so true. So so so true. So. If you argue, wait until the next day. Tell her she is the sexiest beast walking this mother fucking earth, and then build some shit. Is that all? No. The last one here will simply be an amalgam of different things a guy should know. Kiss her. Kiss her. Then kiss her some more. Kiss her in public. Kiss her when she's not expecting it. Kiss her when she's brushing her teeth (even though she'll say "ewwww" she'll secretly love the messy randomness of it.) Kiss her like you're living a Dr Seuss book titled "Kiss Her." Also, on top of complimenting her body, compliment her BRAIN. What was this all about? The biggest sex organ, her brain. Ask her about her day, and better, ask about her thoughts. Ask her about opinions on things. Just ask her things like her opinion matters (as it should). Another significantly important way to get her to want you is to NOT act sex crazy. Don't make her think that all this is to get to her glory zone. Don't constantly talk about sex. Talk about it enough that she stays excited some, but not so much that it turns her off. I've had a sex crazed guy. And the sex got so boring because I knew that's all I was to him. Holes. Don't treat her like she's a walking flesh bag of holes to penetrate. Isn't it pretty simple? Chances are, if you're of average intelligence, then you knew most of this. But I guarantee most of you aren't putting it into practice. I know this because I've been with too many who know better, but aren't doing better. When you treat your girl like a sexy lady, she'll become your sexy lady play dough. Oh... and by god. If she says no, do NOT, I repeat do NOT make her feel guilty. Because then, oh.. then? You will be fucking your right (or left hand, whatevs) for a good week or more. Instead, give her a sweet kiss on the forehead and say "It's alright baby." Everyone in the world doesn't feel like it all the time. Well... most people. Myra Byrom Credits: Completely Nonexperienced Article Writer Female Read more...

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Be assured that whatever is on your mind at the moment, is really the only thing that matters in this universe! Other people may pretend to have opinions and tell you they are just as important... blah blah blah. Fuck 'em, really, if you can fuck them go ahead. Everyone likes getting laid, so you're really just doing them a favor... Which reminds me, if they don't tip, don't ever waste time on them again. You can't really charge unless you live in Vegas, but they should at least make you a sandwich or something. and always wear your frustration on your face, some of the inferiors won't realize they are wasting your time until you furrow your brow, cross your arms over your chest and mumble into your bluetooth to a non-existent participant about not knowing how much longer you'll be stuck in this traffic jam, unless you are actually in traffic and then you should just ride their bumper as tight as you can. Oh, and your insurance agent called, but fuck her! and if you can't count all seven ways by now... then fuck you too! Read more...

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But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing of a pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure? On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee the pain and trouble that are bound to ensue; and equal blame belongs to those who fail in their duty through weakness of will, which is the same as saying through shrinking from toil and pain. These cases are perfectly simple and easy to distinguish. In a free hour, when our power of choice is untrammeled and when nothing prevents our being able to do what we like best, every pleasure is to be welcomed and every pain avoided. But in certain circumstances and owing to the claims of duty or the obligations of business it will frequently occur that pleasures have to be repudiated and annoyances accepted. The wise man therefore always holds in these matters to this principle of selection: he rejects pleasures to secure other greater pleasures, or else he endures pains to avoid worse pains. Read more...

Tags: Space 1889 RPG

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